Panic! At the park (kinda pointless photodump)

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer) 06/01/2020 at 20:45 • Filed to: None

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Yes I was wearing a facemask.

Formula 1 cars don’t have threaded tires, you know. So technically I have more grip.

I was kicked out of the city park by a cop in a matte grey Ninja 600. My argument: the mayoress said it opened this week. His argument: just go away, flaco.

I ought to note that I passed dozens of cops (and park dwellers) without issue on the circuit three times but whatever, trouble I can go without.

So I went to a place full of deviants, where my antisocial behavior would be tolerated. A place full of people in favor of rent controls and against capital gains taxes: La Condesa. The epitome of this champaign socialist neighborhood: Avenida Amsterdam. A 1.5-ish mile circuit with some of the trendiest brunch places and plus-21 nightclubs in town.

Condesa is the perfect place to treat my Cyclist Under Neurotic Turmoil (CUNT) disease, because streets are narrow and cars can’t really get back at you if you act like a cunt. So, in the course of a few minutes I:

1. Ran several red lights, which is legal for cyclists here
2. Went counterflow on a road, which is also legal for cyclists here
3. Used a pedestrian path while on top of the bicycle, which is also legal for cyclists here
4. Purposely almost got into an accident with a motorist to show them whose boss, which is something I can do in this neighborhood because everyone is filming accidents and the police are pressured to arrest people who mess with cyclists because we’re somehow an endangered species that must be protected and kept in a perfect environment to breed. Something to do with traffic and the perception of “wokeness” of heavily tourist-ified neighborhoods.

The only other treatment for cunt is posting Crossfit routines online.

Nonetheless, I grew bored of the shorter circuit and emigrated to the Porfirian La Roma neighborhood. The picture above was taken at Rio de Janeiro plaza, the picture below at Luis Cabrera plaza, which has a very nice looking, small university I have never heard of.

Of which I took a terrible picture.

But Roma has lower property taxes than Condesa, and as a consequence the roads are filled with pot-holes that hurt my bum-bum. So I exiled myself of that godforsaken neighborhood, the border marked by this fancy looking white building next to a gas station.

Finally back in Condesa, I crossed straight through parque Mexico, which I don’t recall ever closing really.

But I swiftly left knowing the true place to go for semi-decent roads is Polanco. So I went under Paseo de la Reforma and crossed into Anzures; a somewhat irrelevant residential neighborhood.

The biggest difference between the neighborhood to the right, and the neighborhood to the left, is the density of sex workers per square kilometer.

Except for this building, which was designed using Minecraft, I guess.

Finally, Mariano Escobedo, the avenue dividing Anzures and Polanco

The biggest difference between the neighborhood to the right and the neighborhood to the left is that one believes rent controls should be instated, and the other one believes there should be a subsidy for gentrificating construction proyects

And so, Mazaryk street, one paved (?) With concrete rather than asphalt. Of course, the namesake of the street is President Mazaryk of Checoslovaquia.

Finally, Lincoln Park, which did close and continues to be so. Here we have a statue of Abraham Lincoln

Facing a statue of Martin Luther King Jr that now has a Covid-19 banner in front of it.

So, those were 30K, just under 20 miles I believe.

And I averaged 16 mph. Best split was between km2 and km3 at 24mph respectively. Peak speed was 29mph... Which is near the speed limit...

I stopped the workout at a restaurant which calls itself an “elite steak house” because I don’t want the internet to know my exact address.

But who knows, maybe I do live at an elite steak house.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Spanfeller is a twat 06/01/2020 at 21:08

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that lincoln statue makes him look like a centaur

Spanfeller is a twat > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/01/2020 at 21:09

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It does from that angle. Maybe they should've given him a fancier chair not to sit on...

Noodles > Spanfeller is a twat 06/01/2020 at 21:53

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Haha. 

Noodles > Spanfeller is a twat 06/01/2020 at 21:54

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Nice pics

wafflesnfalafel > Spanfeller is a twat 06/01/2020 at 23:03

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ha - no risk, no reward. I was out walking on Sunday through a park that was officially open even though parking was closed when I saw one of the security folks hightailing it over in a c ushman cart. I slipped through a couple pedestrian only gates after realizing he had a bee line on me and had made it across the river  before he was able to make it around the long way. GD Paul Blart mall cops...   Nice pics, I love it when you share pics of stuff down there.  

Spanfeller is a twat > wafflesnfalafel 06/01/2020 at 23:14

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I did get in a few days ago, clandestinely. But got deeper into the park.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Spanfeller is a twat 06/02/2020 at 00:00

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Your house is full of elitists eating steak, or maybe elite steak eating houses, so we will now judge you forevermore, you el ite cyclimaniac steakhouse dweller!

I always support more Mexico City photo dumps because I find it fascinating.

I averaged 56 mp h today, which is properly brisk considering it included substantial times of 0 mph. I was driving so I don't have elite level steak powered power cycles to cheat.